Aries: You need more linens in your closet. Embrace the coastal grandmother look. 

Taurus: Pick a roster member and stick to it. Make up your mind before you ruin lives. 

Gemini: Your piercing, icy blue eyes are not enough for you to get away with everything. Be a mature adult. 

Cancer: Wanting was enough. For me, it was enough. 

Leo: Go to the pier and buy some cotton candy. Maybe it will take your mind off of the impending doom. 

Virgo: You are pretty, but you’re no Conrad. Humble yourself. She’s talking to six other guys. 

Libra: Be a Laurel in this world. Figure stuff out, stay low and be mean to people who deserve it. 

Scorpio: Stop staying up until 4 A.M. to talk to them. You need sleep. You have class. 

Sagittarius: Definitely do not make out with your best friend’s brother at a party. Bad idea. 

Capricorn: Don’t fall in love with someone else if you are already dating someone. 

Aquarius: Wear more frilly skirts and blue shirts while the weather is still warm. 

Pisces: You should layer your hair like how Belly did in season 2. You need some dimension.